Letting Christ Take Down the Wall

December 21st, 2015

On Thursday we had a huge Zone Conference, where four of the neighboring Zones got together - which is essentially half of all of the Missionaries in the Mission. While we were all there, I was able to see several other Missionaries that I was in the MTC with, Sister Bates - a previous companion, the Wilcox Ehepaar (my favorite senior couple) and other Elders and Sisters that I had served with in previous areas. 

Seeing old friends from previous areas and experiencing the rush of happiness that comes when those associated memories with them flood back, is so overwhelmingly joyful. That evening after all the excitement from seeing everyone at the Zone Conference was gone, I felt something I didn't expect.

I felt so sad and I couldn't help but ask myself why. The last three transfers I had served with companions for only one transfer at a time. And I left my previous area too quickly...For someone who craves strong, LASTING relationships, that has been a lot of abrupt and fast changes. A lot of getting-to-know-you times and a lot of goodbyes. 

For the first time since being here, I felt a true, sincere desperation of not wanting to end my Mission. I don't want to say so many goodbyes and I don't want to feel the pain that causes again. The thought of possibly not being able to see any of these people in Germany again hurts.

Something from last General Conference (Where we hear from the Prophet and Apostles twice a year) really hit me hard and I think it is something that I still need to learn. It was from a Video that was shown, featuring a woman who despite physical challenges, loved everyone around her and was a positive influence in all of the lives she touched. One of her friends said, "She never made me feel like she needed to get to know me before she could love me." 

I don't necessarily consider myself an unloving person. But I have noticed a wall that I have recently put up. I haven't been letting people in as easily. It hurts too much when they leave. And I think that is exactly what Heavenly Father wants me to learn right now. I need to be brave and unselfish enough to accept the love of others - and show them love in return, even before they get to know me.

Sometimes the natural man within each of us can reject the idea that anyone can freely love us without truly knowing us. For me, I know at times I "privilege" others with opening myself up. The pride from that statement is so dumb! When we consider the reality that God is truly the Eternal Father of our Spirits, we realize that we are literally spirit brothers and sisters. Our worth is not estimated in the skills we have acquired or the talents we may possess. For example, I am artistic. So often when people ask us to describe ourselves, we say things like this: "I am an artist, singer, dancer, photographer, doctor, etc." We place our value in our skills or talents. But seldom do we hear, "I am intelligent. I am beautiful. I am a child of God." 

Right now, I am in the process of taking down my wall. Not only do I want to love others more easily, but I want to accept the love others show me without letting my pride or fear of hurting get in the way. I think of the book/movie The Help, where the caretaker tells the little girl, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Everyone should hear those words.

So how do I do that? How can I take down my wall? I have thought a lot about that this week. And on Sunday, I received an answer:

A member of the Mannheim ward gave a talk about the Meaning of Christmas. Something he said really stuck with me - he asked us to think about receiving a Christmas present that is hard for us to accept. It is too expensive, too much to accept, you don't feel like you can take it or deserve it.

He is a musician and he talked about receiving the PERFECT guitar. How it would be so beautiful - that he wouldn't want to touch it, but instead put it in a cabinet to reserve its beauty. But in reality, when you play a guitar, the strings stretch out and the sound becomes more smooth, more clear, more incredible. A guitar is meant to played. And so is the gift that Christ gave to us - it's meant to be used.

When we think about the Atonement of Christ, we often times think about what He did for us. And why did He do it? The answer is always so simple: because He loves us. But that love is not meant to be locked away in our cabinets. He is the perfect Gift of Christmas - and his atoning sacrifice is meant to be utilized in our life, not simply a story to be opened up to and read once a year on Christmas Day. 

I am no expert in understanding Grace or "the enabling power of the Atonement." But something I am learning is that the only way my Wall can be taken down is with Christ's help. He can help me take down each brick at a time, so long as I am ready to let him take it. I think so often he looks at us hurting, even in the moments where we ourselves don't recognize that we are hurting, and he asks us, "Will you let me take this?" 

His gift of his Atonement is always available to us. So let's take it. This Christmas, discover the Gift. 

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-00-1460-he-is-the-gift

Liebe Grüße,

Sister Kristyn Helmick

P.S. Remember: You are kind. You are smart. You are important.

Mannheim Christmas Market.

Elder and Sister Wilcox!

A super sweet lady we talked to at our Street Display last Friday. We are meeting with her after Christmas. :) 

Longest Week

December 14th, 2015

How can I describe the longest week of my life in a General Email??
This week was unbelievable. Here is what comes to mind:

-Parted ways with the wonderful Sister Roderer
-Was in a dritt with the Sister Training Leaders on Tuesday to
Wednesday and met with an American Army soldier and his German wife.
-Spent two hours traveling ALONE. First time being alone in 11 months...
-Was reunited with Elder Heiner, Sister Nielson, and other fabulous
Missionaries at the training meetings in Frankfurt
-Showed up as the last person at the "Pairing Meeting" because my
train was late.
-Was paired with my new Missionary - Sister Jameson!
-Celebrated Sister Nielson's birthday
-Overnighted in Frankfurt Hotel with Sister Nielson...didn't fall
asleep until 3am because it was too hot and I couldn't find the
heater!
-Woke up at the usual 6:30. Left Frankfurt with Sister Jameson at
11:30am and headed out to Mannheim
-Met with wonderful investigators, less-active members and other Missionaries
-Discovered that I talk in my sleep a lot, and I have continued to
dream/talk in German during my sleep since my MTC Days. The gift of
tongues works in mysterious ways
-Sister Jameson snores...I have a feeling I won't be getting too good
of sleep these next two transfers...
-discovered day 2 that Sister Jameson accidentally left all of her
underwear in the England MTC's dryer...ya, awkward. (She gave me
permission to share all this, I'm not that mean of a person)
-Had a successful Street Display
-Gave a talk at Church that I prepared the night before...turned out okay!
-Got a call from two starving Elders Sunday night...looked at our
empty fridge and managed to somehow throw something together for them.
-Drove a car for the first time since being a Missionary! It was a Car
simulator (this afternoon for Pday)
-Rediscovered that my Danglisch is getting worse and worse...having to
explain what I think is a normal English sentence to Sister Jameson
-And I am somehow figuring out how to be a trainer. It's been a really
good week. I think my theme for the next two transfers will be, "I'm
tired." I have never felt more exhausted in my entire life.

Sister Jameson is from California, and she is a firecracker! She
reminds me so much of what I was like when I came into the Mission.
She asked a billion questions about Mission Life, was nearly bouncing
off the walls ready to work, and was simply so happy! I love her
energy and enthusiasm. She is exactly what Mannheim needs. She was
what we call "fast-tracked" because she spent a year in Germany as an
exchange student a few years ago. She has very good German.

I am grateful that I served with Sister Taylor, who was also
fast-tracked. I remember her telling me how some trainers don't know
how to train someone who can already speak the language. She expressed
how everyone needs a trainer in the beginning, egal what kind of
background they have in the language. Plus, common day-to-day German
is not preaching-the-Gospel kind of German.

I am super grateful to work with Sister Jameson. I feel like I am
learning more by teaching her and being an example of Missionary
conduct than anything else. I feel much more contentious of everything
I do, because I know she looks to me for that guidance in these
initial stages. But at the same time, I am humbled by how much I am
learning from her already. I feel more moldable, open and receptive to
change and growth than I ever have before, and it is a wonderful
feeling!

What I love so much about this experience is how every hour is spent
towards a meaningful activity. It is constantly go, go, go. My focus
is rarely on me, especially with training. I am so blessed to be in
Mannheim where the work we are doing is thriving! And the people we
are meeting are teaching ME so much. From Nigerian investigators who
escaped wars from their homes to be here in this land, to our new
American/German family, who have experienced and seen things that I
could never imagine. One of our investigators, Xin Xin from China, is
getting married today! This experience is so international and
eye-opening to how big this world is, and how innately similar we all
are despite our differences in ethnicity, culture and circumstance.

One Truth that God has been trying to teach me again and again, is
that He loves us. That love is manifested in a variety of ways, always
individual and personable to each person. The way He speaks to me is
not necessarily the way He speaks to you. But the love is the same. It
is like the love between a parent and a child, only perfect and all
encompassing. I have felt his Love not only for me, but I have felt it
working through me to touch others this week.

No matter how many times we have messed up, how many mistakes we have
made - or how many times we have made that same mistake again and
again, His love is constant and unchanging.

I have you each love,
Sister Kristyn Helmick

Last moments with Sister Roderer in Mannheim.

Party dritt.

Taking Sister Jameson to Mannheim - first moments together.

 Germany is full of these little gold plaques in the ground. They
are a tribute to the Jewish people who were killed during World War 2.
They are typically placed right next to where the persons used to
live.

Marktplatz Haltestelle. See this place almost daily.

Sister Jameson and I.

I Have No Comfort Zone Anymore

December 7th, 2015

Transfers: Crazy, crazy, crazy. Sister Roderer has been called to be a
Sister Training Leader in Duisburg...in a dritt! She will be working
with Sisters Terry and Johnson, my previous Sister Training Leaders
who I LOVED. Sooo excited for them all! And I have been called to
train. So on Wednesday, I will be traveling to Frankfurt where all the
trainers and new missionaries come together, and then Wednesday
evening we will be paired with our fresh new Missionaries from the
MTC! We will then stay at a hotel that evening and Thursday we will
have a Trainers Meeting before heading back out to our individual
areas. Exciting, and overwhelming.

Here is the exciting part: The work in Mannheim is progressing, in all
aspects. Yesterday at Church, we had ALL of the less-active families
and individual members that we have been working with come to Church.
One woman who we have worked with consistently with family history,
bore her testimony during Fast and Testimony meeting about how she
knows we are truly called of God to preach the Gospel and help others.
It brought so much peace and gratitude to me, to know that God was
able to work through us. She is making so much progress in her life,
it is incredible to watch that and to be a part of it.

We also have seen miracles with our investigator work. Sandra is
unbelievable. I have never met someone so ready and prepared and
faithful in my entire life! She is working towards being baptized...
But the thing is, baptism is just a beginning. And she knows that. We
have been teaching her the commandments and last week we taught the
Word of Wisdom, which is about a revelation that the Prophet Joseph
Smith received about certain beverages and substances that are harmful
to us. (i.e. Drugs, alcohol, coffee, etc.) It is a law of health as
well, encouraging us to eat healthy foods and treating our bodies as
the gifts that they are. Well, Sandra had mentioned that coffee was
hard for her to give up, as she is so accustomed to drinking it. But
she made the goal to slowly get off it by the end of January...well,
at our last appointment this week, she told us that after our lesson
she drank a cup of coffee and then couldn't sleep at all that night.
When she woke up the next morning, she had absolutely no desire to
drink a cup of coffee ever again. With tears, she told us that she
knew it was a sign that Heavenly Father gave her telling her that this
is right. I have never felt so happy for someone!

In addition to that, we have made significant progress in the
member-missionary work. We met a new investigator family last week -
Dorcas and Yinka. Dorcas is 14 and she just moved in with her Mom. She
is brand new to Germany and is so overwhelmed with the culture shock
and trying to learn the German language all at once. We met with her
and her Mom and taught them twice last week. This week, we brought
Dorcas along with us to the Young Women's activity where she
befriended another one of the young girls. Dorcas is a very reserved
girl at first, but after the activity and after they attended Church
yesterday for the first time, she is blossoming. There has been a huge
change in her since the first time we met her.

To make it even better - we are working on inspiring the Members with
their Missionary Work. On Sunday, we heard two success stories from
members who had accepted our invitation to give away a copy of the
Book of Mormon to a friend, neighbor or colleague. The ward is really
starting to trust the Missionaries, and we are working towards
supporting them and hopefully meeting with their friends in the
future. I feel like I am finally understanding how I can integrate the
ward into our Missionary work, and how to support them in theirs. It
is a team effort, and we should ALWAYS be working side by side.

Sooo, here we are. So much work to do, so many good things ahead. So
much progress this last week! I am so grateful for it. I feel like the
Lord is really blessing us for our efforts. And here comes the
overwhelming part: training. The thought of training exhausts me. I am
so tired on so many levels. But I know that I am exactly where I need
to be. There are never comfortable zones in a Mission. Once I start to
feel like I can do things with more ease, something bigger and more
challenging comes along. I guess that is why people say that your
Mission prepares you for your whole life.

Ich habe euch lieb! Das größte Wunder kommt von meiner Familie und
Freunde. Die Unterstützung die ich von euch bekomme, bedeutet mir
alles. Danke, danke, danke!

Sister Kristyn Helmick

Giving Thanks

November 30th, 2015

This week started out pretty painful...literally. We were at a dinner appointment with a Turkish family we visit weekly. They normally don't feed us, but for whatever reason they really wanted to make us some good Turkish food. 

We got to the appointment with a feast placed before us. Literally. SO MUCH FOOD. I immediately started tackling the food, trying to eat the foods that I don't like as much first so that I could have the best for last, you know? Well, I get to the vegetable and potatoes part of the dish. There is this huge green pepper-looking thing, and I rolled it up into one giant bite and shoved it into my mouth. Right when I started chewing, the woman who prepared the food cried out to warn me and said, "Vorsicht! Das ist ganz scharf!" (Careful, that is super spicy!) At this point, I had already started chewing into the pepper, and I thought it would be embarrassing to spit it out onto my plate, so I braced myself, chewed, and then swallowed. The results were not instantaneous.

At first, I felt the slight tingle of the burn creep into my throat. I started marking the "Ow, owe" sounds and drank a few sips of the Sprite they gave me. And then the pain came on full-throttle. From the tip of my tongue, all the way down to my heart was the most intense burning and stinking pain I have yet to experience from food. Immediately, tears started pouring out of my eyes and I started to panic. The mother had her children run into the kitchen and grab me Goat's milk and yogurt to tame the heat. Meanwhile, I sat there nearly hyperventilating, while the mother's four other children huddled around me with their huge, staring eyes and my companion patted my back. It was SO embarrassing and lasted for about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, the mother kept on saying "Es tut mir sehr leid Sister Helmick!"again and again. Turns out, I ate a Paprika type Turkish pepper, known for being incredibly hot to the Turkish natives...least of all an American girl who can barely stand medium-salsa. Thank heavens I didn't serve in South America or Mexico. I would've died.

Now onto the week... Tuesday to Wednesday, I was with Sister Bunderson on a split. On Wednesday we had Zone Training in Heidelberg and right afterwards a Zone Finding activity in Mannheim. By "Zone Finding activity" what I mean is that we handed about ten missionaries our cards and had them travel throughout the mall füß for about an hour or two. Thursday was pretty special - we had a Thanksgiving District Meeting and ate a lot of Turkey and sweets. Friday was a day full of finding and cancelled appointments, it happens sometimes. And then Saturday and Sunday finally came by! :) 

On Saturday and Sunday, we were able to attend Stake Conference, and I was able to see so many of my favorite people! Saarbrücken still has the biggest part of my heart. I feel like I really learned how to love people there. It was definitely the highlight of my week.

It is interesting how I have found myself becoming homesick for my previous areas. Missions are really heartbreaking at times. You become invested in an area -focused on those around you and filled with an indescribable love for them. Serving and serving, until you get transferred and your whole world is pulled from you and you are thrown into a new area - or a new world. 

Transfers are coming up again this Saturday. I wonder if Sister Roderer and I will stay together... It is just so unpredictable. For someone who loves controls (like me) Missions can drive you insane. It requires you to give up the reins and trust that God knows better than you.

I'm sorry this isn't the most detailed General Email entry. My brain is tired. And I feel like I can't speak in any language right now. Just the other day, I stopped a lady on the Street and she told me she couldn't speak German. After asking her "Was sprechen Sie?" She told me she speaks English. You think I would've jumped up and down right? Nope! I instead preceded to talk to her in the most broken English I have ever uttered....Sister Roderer had to TRANSLATE my ENGLISH for me. Family - don't be surprised if my English is weird when I come home. 

Through all the business and craziness of this week, I am filled with gratitude. Gratitude for my family and friends. For the wonderful people I have met here in Germany. For a loving Heavenly Father who shows me time and time again that He will never give up on me even when I start giving up on myself. Grateful for a Savior. 

Grateful...Thanksgiving does that to you, right? My challenge to you all is to make every day a grateful one this year. Don't wait until next Thanksgiving to tell the ones you love how much you appreciate them. 

I have you all love!

Sister Kristyn Helmick

We took a few pictures at the train station. :)

Sister Roderer and I accidentally matched. Glasses, scarf, and two-brunettes

Oma Schroeder!

Rüdiger and Schwester Kras from Saarbrucken.

Thanksgiving District meeting - American style.

Improvement

 

 

 

 

November 23rd, 2015 

 

 

We came home every single night this week late. That has got to be a record! And one that I hope to not make a habit this next week. I am SO tired. I have felt like my head hits the pillow at night and then the alarm goes off five minutes later indicating it is time to wake up again and start my day again. 

I think one of the biggest miracles this week was the overwhelming feeling of love I felt on Monday night. It had been a hard, emotional day for me. Our Pday had just ended and I was feeling homesick and tired. It wasn't the birthday that I wanted when I woke up on Monday morning. Right when we started street contacting, I received a phone call from an unknown number. Sister Roderer and I had just started talking to a nice man and I pulled off to the side to take the phone call. Right when I answered saying, "Hallo, heir ist Sister Helmick," I heard a loud chorus of "Happy Birthday to you!" That screamed into my ear. My old Ward Herne had called me up! They had gotten together for an activity and had remembered my birthday. I was able to briefly talk with many of the members and missionaries. It turned my birthday around completely. Later that evening, I received a phone call from the Wilcoxs! My FAVORITE Senior Couple who were with me in Saarbrücken for 6 months. I talked with Sister Wilcox for a good half-an-hour or so, which was sooo needed. Right when I was feeling so happy and simultaneously sad, my Mission President called me to wish me a personal congrats on my 2 year mark and to thank me for my service. 

I needed that. Right when I was about to break because I was so sad, Heavenly Father reached out to show me His love through people I have met here. I know that He works through others to answer our prayers, because He answered the prayers of my heart that night. 

On Tuesday we drove out to Frankfurt and were able to participate in a live-conference that was broadcasted all throughout Europe. Elder Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was there and he talked a lot about how we can work with the Church Leaders with their Missionary work. After the Conference, I was reunited with two of my previous companions, Sister Bates and Sister Lyman! It was so great to see them both and talk about memories from my first area, Saarbrücken. 

Speaking of Saarbrücken, I will be reunited with some of the members during Stake Conference this Sunday! Words cannot do justice in describing how excited I am. I can't wait to see Stella, Sister Dehdari, Rüdiger, Anne-Katrin, the Franz family and others. I loved my time in Saarbrücken and will forever cherish my time there. 

We also met with Sandra again this week. She is the most prepared and humble person I have ever met. She is currently praying for which day she should be baptized on! I am constantly amazed by how little I do as a Missionary. Heavenly Father has placed people in front of us that He has prepared for years. It is such a privilege and blessing!

With that being said, Sister Roderer and I have also been pretty humbled this week. We met with Raphael on Thursday and Friday. Had two incredible lessons with him, and then found out that he actually lives outside of our area. So this next week, we will be meeting all together with the Speyer Elders who will then meet with and teach Raphael. I am excited for him because he is also an incredible example of someone who has been prepared his entire life for the Gospel. 

What was humbling about this experience, was the fact that Sister Roderer and I had just "given up" two of our other investigators to the Elders. We had both felt that these other two men would be better taught by the Elders. That left Sister Roderer and I back to ground zero again. Back to working with members and finding new people to teach. But that's okay, because I felt the peace of the Spirit confirm to me that we are doing what God wants and needs us to do. So much in life is about accepting God's Will and timing in our lives. 

Everyone...I really can't describe this experience. Service changes you. And service as a full-time missionary stretches you in ways you didn't know you needed to be stretched. There have been moments where I have wondered why this couldn't be easier, why the process has to be so hard and painful at times. I have many perfectionistic tendencies and it has been a struggle to give that up and accept the fact that life will always be a staircase of improvement. I will always be striving to be better and moving forward to overcome weaknesses and mistakes. 

I am currently in Ether in the Book of Mormon, and I came across a well-known, powerful verse in Chapter 12 this week. 

"27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I have seen this promise come true. With very obvious weaknesses -such as my struggle through the German language and seeing God expand my abilities and give me the words that I need in the exact moments...to the personal, not-seen-on-the-surface weaknesses that I experience on a daily basis. As I give myself over to Christ, I can feel Him take my weaknesses and transform them into exactly what they need to be. The Gospel is all about progression, continually walking up that staircase until we return Home. 

I guess you could say that I am just taking one day at a time right now. Trying to become a little stronger, love a little more, and always remembering to laugh along the way. :) 

Love,

Sister Kristyn Helmick

And of course I can't forget to include a funny story of the week! Courtesy of my descriptive companion, Sister Roderer. She really can tell a story much better than I can:

We wanted to have a Street Display on Saturday, but it started to rain.
A lot.
So we decided in order to have this street display, we would need to
have a tent to cover us and the copies of the Book of Mormon, so we
got permission to buy one, and went on a hunt for a tent.
I asked Siri (on the iPad) where there were stores with camping gear,
and we were directed to two possible locations.
I picked the one closest to us and off we went, ducking under drippy
doorways and avoiding puddles.
After ten minutes of walking like this, we found ourselves in a rather
sketchy part of Mannheim.
Finally we get to this weird corner of the street and I'm looking for
the address, and I see this dingy looking store, which I walk right
by, because I'm looking for a camping store, not a dim-lit kiosk.
My mistake.
This dim-lit kiosk with the cartoon whale on the side with the sign
"Moby Dick Fishing" on the side was Siri's recommendation.
Never again, Siri. We're over.
I sort of, cautiously pull the door knob and peek inside, then
immediately shut it again.
"Sister Helmick.... I don't think we are going to find our tent in
there. I don't want to go in, we'll look super awkward."
But, I figure that I'm just being a baby, and should go in there.
So we do.
This shop is about as big as our bedroom, and is covered, wall to
ceiling in all sorts of lures and fishing poles.
The only people in the store are three very German men, two of which
are burly, and all three of which are hairy.
One very fast glance around, and I knew we probably wouldn't find our
tent there.
The men, meanwhile are looking at us in total confusion.
Not every day you see two well-dressed white American girls in their
twenties checking out the local German fishing store.
Little did they know that we were actually expert fisher women, only
we fish for a different sort. (See Matthew 4:19 or Mark 1:17)
We did find fishing waders large enough to be a tent, but decided against it.
We are still tent-less, but we've been culturally enriched.

Willie, the son of one of our investigator, calls us "Tante" or
"Auntie" and hugs us repeatedly before we leave our appointments. He
is so fun :)

Willie, Sister Roderer and I.

Sister Roderer likes taking selfies.

Mannheim National Theater. In respect for France.

Mannheim STINKS

November 9th, 2015

On Wednesday of last week, my old Ward Mission Leader from Saarbrücken called me up and asked how the air smelled over here. Apparently, Mannheim is known for its unpleasant smell. It either smells like sour beer or burnt chocolate depending on what part of town you are in. It is the strangest thing. Every time this last week when I caught a whiff of the smell and gagged, Sister Roderer would laugh and say, "Herzlich Willkommen zu Mannheim!" (Welcome to Mannheim). Fortunately, I got over the smell and we had a killer week!

To start it off, last P-day I got my scissors out again and cut off Sister Roderer's hair. She was feeling adventurous and I was able to participate in cutting off a solid foot before the Hairstylist made it look good. (Pictures below). Fun fact about German culture: I love how blunt Germans are. For those who are Color Code fans, Germany is a perfect example of the Red color. They are INCREDIBLY honest, which is sometimes a stark contrast to the American culture of telling people what they want to hear. All of the German members and investigators who know Sister Roderer told her straight up what they thought of her hair. She got the "no! Why did you cut away your long hair! What were you thinking?!" To "that looks so great on you, it fits your face" etc. etc. I think it looks great but I would never be brave enough to cut away my hair like that. In fact, I haven't had a haircut in well over ten months. 

Anyway, side tangents... This week we worked! We are slowly getting the ball rolling again in Mannheim. (That English idiom does not work translated into German...tried it this week, got an awkward stare from an old man. Language is fun, isn't it?) 

As usual, there is no way I can possibly summarize a week of events, appointments, etc. etc. in a General Email. So here are two highlights:

Sandra...oh my goodness. Have you ever had those moments where you feel so humbled that you want to cry? This was one of those moments. X10. We came into this lesson having zero time to prepare, because we were flooded with appointments beforehand. So we definitely had a rocky, and kind of awkward start to the lesson. Fortunately, God prepares a way to smooth out our rough edges and work through our mistakes. This was quite possibly the most spiritual lesson I have ever been apart of!

Sandra became a new investigator this week, but her investigation of the Church rooted from her boyfriend who is a strong member. She had attended Church several times with him already and has read about 75 pages into the Book of Mormon. She grew up very religious in another Church but said that she never felt a strong relationship or connection to God. It wasn't until she started reading in the Book of Mormon and attending Church that something triggered inside of her. 

At one point during the lesson, I began emphasizing the importance of asking God if any of this is true. It makes no sense for anyone to listen to us as Missionaries - to take our word for Truth. We should always go to the source of truth - namely, our Heavenly Father. As we talked about this principle, Sandra looked at us and with the sweetest reply said, "When I read from the Book of Mormon, it rings true to me. I feel it and I don't doubt that it isn't true. I can definitely still pray about it if you want me to, but I already know the answer." As she said this, she started to cry. And then her boyfriend started to cry as he put his arm around her supporting her. She wants to make a step of faith and be baptized, but she feels an overwhelming loyalty to her family and the generations of activity in their Church. She worries about their rejection of her faith and she knows she has to prepare them for it. 

I believe that both Sandra and her boyfriend started crying because the Spirit testified to them right then and there how serious this was. Sandra is preparing to change her entire life. These kind of changes are a lot bigger than any one person - they affect families. I am a witness of that as I was baptized into a faith not shared by my family. I feel privileged to be able to continue meeting with Sandra and helping her prepare for these life changes that bring the ultimate happiness in life. And I am excited for the day when this young couple get married - because they are basically the most adorable people I have ever met. You could feel the love that they had for each other in that room. It was incredible.  

Man, Now I have no time for the other big highlight of the week! Doreen. We found a new investigator and had a miracle lesson with her. Ended up setting a baptismal date for the 19th of December with her, but because she lives in Worms, we will be having a hand-over lesson with the Elders there who will then continue teaching her. Super excited for Doreen! 

I am loving my time in Mannheim. And I am especially grateful for Sister Roderer. She is the best companion I could have ever asked for. I feel limitless working with her because we both have the same desires to work hard and exercise the faith to find the people prepared to accept the Gospel. In the last week, Mannheim has seen more success than it has in the last year. It is incredible what God has been able to do. 

I have you all love! :) 

Sister Kristyn Helmick

Funny moment of the week: Right after we stopped a man on the Street who immediately and impolitely rejected us, we walked past a thick piece of German chocolate on the cement. It was unwrapped. Sister Roderer turned to me and cried out in sadness. I then said, "Sister Roderer, it is pretty pathetic that both of us are probably more upset about that piece of chocolate going to waste than that man who just rejected us." ...her silence then followed by laughter confirmed the irony! 

That happened this morning. Had to thaw out our tiny refrigerator.

Cutting Sister Roderer's Hair.

A member we visit is a crazy origami artist. So cool!

Missionaries in Mannheim.

Some sceneries here. :)

Bringing Sonnenschein Into Mannheim

November 2nd, 2015

My entrance into Mannheim has been one of the more unexpected experiences that I have had so far. At the Bahnhof (train station) in Frankfurt where all of the Missionaries meet for transfers, I learned that two new Elders were also entering Mannheim. Brand new. That normally doesn't happen.

Sister Roderer also met us and later that evening we went out for Thai food and had an extensive correlation meeting regarding the Missionary Work in Mannheim. Due to many personal circumstances with previous Missionaries, this area has been dead in a lot of ways as far as progress in the work. We currently have no progressing investigators, with a lot of work laid out in front of us.

On Saturday morning we met with our Bishop and Ward Mission Leader. They had a really serious meeting with us all as we discussed how we can move this work forward. The Spirit was so strong during this meeting. They need us to work harder than we have ever worked before and to earn the trust of the members again. In a lot of ways, I feel like I am opening an area. Starting completely from ground zero. And I have never felt more motivated my entire mission! 

I LOVE Sister Roderer. We challenge each other to be better in every phase of the work. I have never felt more "fitted" to a companion! We have been going, going, going the last few days together and we have plans to simply not stop. This area needs a lot of work, and we are ready to do it. 

Sister Roderer is 24, (her birthday is next week! A week before mine!) she is an AMAZING musician, and she is half Swiss so she grew up speaking German. Her accent is so cool! She plays the flute and has a Bachelor and Masters in Flute Performance (she was homeschooled and started college early). She is so much fun, so personable, and we connect so well. Ahh, I just love her. :) 

I am so grateful that we work so well together because I have already seen some of the miracles from it. Here are two successes from the week: 

1. After brainstorming with the Elders, we came up with the finding idea of carrying around big whiteboards with the question "Sind Sie heute Glücklich?" (Are you happy today?) around the university campus. Underneath the question, we had a section for people on the street to check "Ja", "Jein", and "Nein". (Yes, yes-no, No). It was a major success and it was so much fun! For about 3 hours we went throughout the campus and neighboring streets asking people about what makes them happy and sharing the message of the Gospel that we want to share with everyone. It was so cool to see people on buses, bikes and in cars waving and honking their horns with big thumbs up - indicating that they were happy that day. It was a huge success as we found a lot of people who genuinely wanted to learn more about the message we are sharing. And it was simply exciting to go throughout the streets holding that big sign with smiles on our faces. :) 

2. It was approximately 9pm on Friday night. Sister Roderer and I had literally spent an entire day of finding. Literally a whole 9 hours. And it was awesome! But we were both so exhausted. I have never worked so hard in my life. We decided to head back home and on the way, we decided to stop one last person on the street. Best decision ever.

The man we stopped is named Raphael and he has a very strong belief in Jesus Christ. He was so engaged in our conversation and was so surprised to see how happy we were. He made the comment that he knows we are called of God because there is something different about us. You look up on the streets and see frowns, disconnected people, and generally a lack of enthusiasm. But he told us that when we approached him at night, we looked so genuinely happy that it ignited a curiosity in him to hear what we had to say! 

After we had talked to him for about 5 minutes or so, a friend of Raphael's walked passed us and waved. Raphael then yelled at him and said, "Henry! Die sind Christ!" And then Henry rushed over to join our conversation. 

There have been moments on my mission where I have literally felt an unbelievable power fill me as I testify. This experience with Raphael and Henry was one of those. Sister Roderer and I testified of the divinity of Jesus Christ and the role he played. His organization of His Church and the eventual lost of priesthood power to lead and guide it. God's hand and pattern all throughout time of calling prophets - including in our day. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. As we came to teach about the Book of Mormon and how it acts as a second witness of Jesus Christ, just as the Bible does, an excitement came over us all.

Henry looked at me and said, "you don't understand. I have been looking for answers for so long. And I am never in town at this time. I have another commitment on Friday nights but the last two weeks I have felt that I needed to not go. And then I met you both!" As he was talking, I had the impression to ask him what his first language was. Even though they had great German, I could tell it wasn't their first language.

After he answered saying "Französisch," I literally jumped up and down in excitement as I opened up my purse and pulled out the French copy of the Book of Mormon I felt impressed to bring with me that morning. Man! The look on Henry's face was priceless!

We had such a cool experience with them, that Sister Roderer and I took a selfie with them on the Street. (Attached below) They should be coming to Church this Sunday! 

Lieber Familie und Freunde, I feel so incredibly happy right now! I know how limited my time is as a Missionary. This is the only time in my life where I will be able to stop people on the Street and talk about the teachings of Jesus Christ and the happiness they bring when we follow. Okay, I guess I could do that not as a Missionary...but the name-tag helps. Haha. 

Ich habe euch ganz Lieb! Remember to choose to be happy this week and wear your smiles for others to see. 

Sister Kristyn Helmick

P.S. Funny story of the week: during our finding activity, Sister Roderer and I stopped a man on the street who was tall, and wore glasses. Sister Roderer may or may not have a thing for men in glasses. After asking this guy if he was happy that day, he asked why we were doing this fun activity. We talked about how we are missionaries for the Church and then Sister Roderer talked about what we do as Missionaries. She said that we give up a lot to do this work, including being with family and friends and with completely avoiding his eyes she said, "wir haben keine Betziehungen mit Männer." (We have no relationships with men). He blushed and then giggled. When we walked away I couldn't contain myself and started laughing - all the while Sister Roderer was sooo embarrassed! 

Sonnenschein in German means Sunshine in English. :)

Day 1 in Mannheim. 3 new missionaries.

Our white boarding contact pic.

Raphael and Henry selfie on Friday night.

Leaving Herne pictures. I am really going to miss these people. I guess this makes up for me never sending pictures home from Herne.

 

We Aren't Made For Goodbyes

October 26th, 2015

I mentioned in my last email that this last transfer has been very
challenging for me. This week I finally got an answer to my many
prayers. Part of it came from my mission president, and most recently
was yesterday as I was taking the Sacrament.

I emailed President Stoddard about a few of my concerns last week and
on Tuesday I read his response. Something he said to me particularly
stuck out and I want to share it with you all: "Because I come from a
medical background, I am going to be straight forward with you. Ups
and downs are good. You don't want a flat line."

I thought a lot about that this last week. Trials are meant to shape
and refine us, especially when we don't understand them. They teach us
to rely on Him. So that's what I did. I kept praying and did what was
in my power to make the best out of my situation and work through
questions. And things started to get better. We were working really
hard and saw some great successes throughout the week. I am my
happiest when I am simply working and not holding anything back. That
led me to some pondering during my personal studies throughout the
week.

The oxymorons of my Mission are becoming more and more apparent to me.
I have been becoming increasingly aware of myself - my strengths,
weaknesses, accomplishments and sins. But at the same time, I feel
like God has been trying to drill a few principles into my head for a
while now. 1. This Mission experience is not about me: Get over
yourself, stop complaining, stop comparing yourself to others, stop
being a martyr, stop seeking for your own glory and honor. And 2.
Trust fully in me, I love you and I know what I am doing.

I can't really describe how I felt yesterday as I took a few quiet
moments to pray during the Sacrament. I felt an overwhelming amount of
love from my Heavenly Father as well as a strong feeling that I need
to repent. I know that he asks us to repent because he loves us and he
sees our uttermost potential.

Today is day 1 of my seventh transfer in Germany. Last Saturday
morning we had our Transfer Calls and everyone was shocked to find out
that I am being transferred. Normally Missionaries stay in an area for
longer. On Thursday I will be heading back down to the southern part
of the mission - I will be serving in Mannheim with Sister Roderer!
She is also from my same MTC group, and she happened to be companions
with my current companion, Sister Carroll. The mission world continues
to get smaller and smaller!

While I am very excited to start a new adventure in Mannheim, I am
also sad to be leaving again. There is comfort in staying in an area
because you are able to develop such deep relationships. I strongly
dislike saying goodbye.

As I was studying this morning about goodbyes, I read one of my
favorite talks. It has helped me so many times on my Mission so far
and it continues to carry me through when I am struggling.

"In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder
that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem
unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that
resists endings.

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are
eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless
and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our
destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we
realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They
are merely interruptions--temporary pauses that one day will seem
small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful." (Grateful in
Any Circumstances - President Uchtdorf).

Goodbyes are so hard because they go against our very core of who we
are. We aren't made for goodbyes. I was explaining this to Adela - who
I am probably most close to in Herne. She broke down when I told her I
was leaving and all I could do was think about what President Uchtdorf
said. And quite frankly, it is a privilege to be able to love someone
so much that it hurts to say goodbye.

Thank you for all who have been keeping me in their thoughts and
prayers. I love you more than I can express.
Sister Helmick

Sister Doering's Birthday Party Pictures.

My Young Women and I. :)

Clevis on his baptism day on Saturday.

Journal Entry: Donnerstag 15 Oktober 2015

October 19th, 2015

 

 

Each week I log on to do my emails and I stare at this blank screen not really knowing where to start and how to describe my experiences. Plus we are running way late on our email time because we just got back from Gelsenkirchen with the District - we played the best game of capture the flag in my life! And Man, this week was simply one of those weeks where we were SO busy and we saw so many miracles that I don't know how to begin...so instead I am going to copy and paste an entry from my journal this week. I think Thursday was one of the best days so here we go:

BEST DAY EVER. But it didn't start out that way. This morning we had our usual studies + lunch (attempted to make a homemade pizza and it turned into a casserole... Note to self: don't put hot homemade pizza sauce on raw dough before you put it in the oven). After lunch we traveled to the Bochum Rathaus and scheduled two Street Displays for the next two weeks in a row. Man, it was intense finding that place - Sister Carroll had never before organized a Street Display so it was mostly on me to figure it out. Anyway, super excited to have those coming up...

Afterwards, we went by a member who wasn't home and we did about a half an hour of doors but no one was interested. So ist das Leben manchmal. From there we went to our volunteering at Lebens Hilfe - but for some reason it was closed! So, as we were walking back to the U-Bahn (underground station) I decided to call Jaina. She is a 12 year old girl who speaks good English and German but her family only speaks Arabic. We had met with them several times before but had lost contact for a few weeks. Jaina is our source of communication as she translates the lessons for us. 

Anyway, as I called her she sounded very sad. She started speaking in Arabic to her Mom and then switched back to Danglisch while talking with me. (danglisch is my favorite language). She explained that her parents do not want us coming over anymore, as the father is a pastor in his Church. Immediately Jaina began to apologize and she told me how much she loved it when we came over and the good feelings she felt. She said that she has been reading in the Book of Mormon and wishes so badly that her parents would let us continue meeting because she wants to learn more. It broke my heart to hear her say that. She may only be twelve, but she has lived through a lot coming from Iraq. She is so beyond her years. On the phone all I could do was encourage her and bear her my testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel. I gave her contact information at Mormon.org to learn more and contact Missionaries when she is older. I also gave her my email address and asked her to stay in touch. I hope and pray that Jaina doesn't forget the Spirit that she felt as we met with them. 

So, at this point both Sister Carroll and I were both pretty sad. We decided to go to the apartment and make some dinner before our appointment with Adela. Our "making dinner" consisted of me listening to a Church Podcast while drinking water and falling asleep on our couch. Don't worry though, only a half hour nap. 

Then we headed out to meet Adela and her sister Xena. They finally got keys to their new apartment and we were able to travel with them to it. When we got there, Adela explained that she was planning on spending the rest of the night cleaning it on her own before they moved the furniture in the next day. Heck no - we didn't let her do that alone! Sister Carroll and I rolled up our sleeves and got to work. About an hour and a half later we were finished. At this point it was 19:45. We still had an hour and 15 minutes before 21:00 when we were supposed to be home. For some reason though, Sister Carroll and I both felt stress free about it. We both just knew that the Lord would give us something to do - and He sure did! 

We ended up deciding to contact a Turkish potential who wanted a Book of Mormon in Turkish. We walked over to his Döner Laden and had a very unexpected twist to our evening. (Side tangent: Döners are the best thing ever created. Turkish dish but very popular in Germany. Cooked fresh bread, seasoned blazed chicken, fresh veggies and sauces. I have probably had a Döner once a week since being in Germany. Addicted.) 

Anyway, zurück to topic. As we walked into the Laden, a family of three were sitting down waiting for their order to be finished. The husband started obviously starring at our name tags so we asked him if he had ever heard of the Church before. He shook his head no and asked what kind of Church we belonged to. After explaining that we are a Christian Church, we shared with him the Book of Mormon. He then began flipping through the pages and asking question after question. His wife knew a little English, so she asked us questions in English and asked a lot about America.

After playing this question game back and forth for a little while, Sister Carroll and I had to divide and conquer. She started talking to the Döner Laden guy, while I talked to the family of three. Before I could suggest making out an appointment to answer more of their questions, they invited us to get some drinks at the Italian place directly across from us. So we finished talking with the Döner Laden guy (and made a return appointment for this week!) and walked over.

We had a great appointment with them - and Sister Carroll and I were bold! We had to be - this family is so energetic and so full of questions. It was a little chaotic. But before we knew it we had to get going and they invited us over to their home to continue discussing. We asked if we could say the closing prayer together and at this point, we were all bowing our heads about to pray when the Italian restaurant owner yelled out, "Hallo! Was macht ihr?" We explained that we were praying and then he ran over to join us! Before we could pray he gave us a ten minute speech about how much he loves God and finally let us pray. He also wants us to come by and meet with him to explain what we do.

Sister Carroll gave the sweetest and shortest prayer I have ever heard. And then we booked it to the bus!! And alas, we missed it by a solid two minutes. But it was sooo worth it. 

---- 

I think this gives you a good insight into the ups and downs of this experience. The hardest thing for me has been to see people so close to the Gospel and then reject it or choosing to not give something up to live it. And then the greatest joys have come in seeing the light that fills their eyes when they recognize truth. 

I am not going to lie, this last transfer has been one of the hardest emotional and mental transfers for me. I have questions and concerns that I am trying to work through, and at times I feel incredibly inadequate. But I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and I know that I am supposed to be here. Prayer has taken so much more of a role in my life and what keeps me going is the unexplainable feeling of comfort...almost like someone lifting me up, every time I need it and every time I think I can't do this. I know that He is there for us and I know that He loves us. 

I love all of you and I pray for you daily.

Sister Kristyn Helmick

Today after our capture the flag game.

Last P-Day: Hiking.

My companion knows me well.

We decided Christmas needed to start early. #ChristmasLights