We Aren't Made For Goodbyes

October 26th, 2015

I mentioned in my last email that this last transfer has been very
challenging for me. This week I finally got an answer to my many
prayers. Part of it came from my mission president, and most recently
was yesterday as I was taking the Sacrament.

I emailed President Stoddard about a few of my concerns last week and
on Tuesday I read his response. Something he said to me particularly
stuck out and I want to share it with you all: "Because I come from a
medical background, I am going to be straight forward with you. Ups
and downs are good. You don't want a flat line."

I thought a lot about that this last week. Trials are meant to shape
and refine us, especially when we don't understand them. They teach us
to rely on Him. So that's what I did. I kept praying and did what was
in my power to make the best out of my situation and work through
questions. And things started to get better. We were working really
hard and saw some great successes throughout the week. I am my
happiest when I am simply working and not holding anything back. That
led me to some pondering during my personal studies throughout the
week.

The oxymorons of my Mission are becoming more and more apparent to me.
I have been becoming increasingly aware of myself - my strengths,
weaknesses, accomplishments and sins. But at the same time, I feel
like God has been trying to drill a few principles into my head for a
while now. 1. This Mission experience is not about me: Get over
yourself, stop complaining, stop comparing yourself to others, stop
being a martyr, stop seeking for your own glory and honor. And 2.
Trust fully in me, I love you and I know what I am doing.

I can't really describe how I felt yesterday as I took a few quiet
moments to pray during the Sacrament. I felt an overwhelming amount of
love from my Heavenly Father as well as a strong feeling that I need
to repent. I know that he asks us to repent because he loves us and he
sees our uttermost potential.

Today is day 1 of my seventh transfer in Germany. Last Saturday
morning we had our Transfer Calls and everyone was shocked to find out
that I am being transferred. Normally Missionaries stay in an area for
longer. On Thursday I will be heading back down to the southern part
of the mission - I will be serving in Mannheim with Sister Roderer!
She is also from my same MTC group, and she happened to be companions
with my current companion, Sister Carroll. The mission world continues
to get smaller and smaller!

While I am very excited to start a new adventure in Mannheim, I am
also sad to be leaving again. There is comfort in staying in an area
because you are able to develop such deep relationships. I strongly
dislike saying goodbye.

As I was studying this morning about goodbyes, I read one of my
favorite talks. It has helped me so many times on my Mission so far
and it continues to carry me through when I am struggling.

"In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder
that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem
unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that
resists endings.

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are
eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless
and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our
destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we
realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They
are merely interruptions--temporary pauses that one day will seem
small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful." (Grateful in
Any Circumstances - President Uchtdorf).

Goodbyes are so hard because they go against our very core of who we
are. We aren't made for goodbyes. I was explaining this to Adela - who
I am probably most close to in Herne. She broke down when I told her I
was leaving and all I could do was think about what President Uchtdorf
said. And quite frankly, it is a privilege to be able to love someone
so much that it hurts to say goodbye.

Thank you for all who have been keeping me in their thoughts and
prayers. I love you more than I can express.
Sister Helmick

Sister Doering's Birthday Party Pictures.

My Young Women and I. :)

Clevis on his baptism day on Saturday.